without realising it,i had been back to penang for 5 days now. i do admit,the first few days itself wasn't as excited as i expected it would be.going through all the strings score for the concert almost send me off the wall (it's hard to understand the score not to mention the idea of playing with it.)

the feeling that i felt on the first day itself,i guess i was never good at handling that kind of feeling.throughout the whole practise,i practically feel like an 'extra' or maybe sum sort of useless stuff since i cant follow or play with the tempo.

and so,i ended up with that kind of situation for a few days.it was hard to come up with a decision; to stay and continue in string section but at the cost of feeling unhappy and stress up or leaving string section and go to percuassion section but at the cost of making fatin feel disapointed. i didn't know what i want to begin with and thus,coming up with a decision was indeed a tough task for me.

i have like almost 2 weeks to go.and even though i'm now in percuassion section, even though i do look happy, but deep inside,i'm well aware that something is missing.ha ha.in fact,i have been feeling like that for quite some time.i thought music might be able to guide me in finding it and thus,i took the path i'm taking now.whether it's a right choice or not,well, surely i wont know until a bit later.but i do hope i wont regret it.

i love music,yes i do.but will music be able to help me find the missing peices??with so many dilemma,will i be able to make the right choice?

still a long way to go i guess